When I became a parent for the 2nd and 3rd time I already knew that sometimes things don’t work out as you plan. Tyler (14) was 5 years old when Alfie(9) came along I was divorced from his farther by the time he was just 18 months old. Tyler was born at 30 weeks gestation and so I am no stranger to the shocks that parent hood brings. Tyler remarkably has no additional needs and is fighting fit taller then me teenager. Nevertheless, in a different relationship stable and now living in a different county I decided next time it would be different, next time it should, could and would go to plan, wouldn’t it ????? .
So when I stumbled across a post on social media I was surprised and emotional to say the least at how much truth there was staring at me, this is an adapted version of what I read.
“When I first became a mother I had a clear vision for the future, and what type of family we would be. How I would teach my children to say their first words and listen to them read stories together every nigh before bed, we would enjoy the most amazing days out, we would go to the park all of the time, visit play centres and make lots of same age friends, visit museums and be tourist in London.
I’d teach then how to play football (like I had done with Tyler), or watch at dancing class and our weekends would be filled with visits to friends and catching up with family, our social lives would be hectic. But so far being a parent to Alfie and Pixie-Faith has been quite different.
The first words didn’t come easily and were much later then most, and reading out loud the bedtime (or anytime) stories are still a long way off. There hasn’t been a museum trips and a London tourist is not ok. There hasn’t been football matches and dance classes with sparkles and pretties everywhere. Visits to friends and family are always minimal and our social lives are low key.
Instead ; AUTISM has taught me to become a different parent.
Autism has taught me to be a parent who will: bounce on the trampoline, sing songs loudly and make up all the words, to massage feet, squeeze, rock, blow bubbles, rip paper just to watch it fall and jump in puddles and splash all day.
Autism has taught me to become non- judgmental of other parents, to be more accepting and to develop a level of patience that I never knew existed.
Autism has taught me to be a parent that will do anything whatever it takes to ensure my children get the right support to live the best life possible.
I may not be the parent I had once had a vision of being, but Autism has taught me to be the parent my children needs me to be !!
So here it is my first blog from my “little book of Autism” here to share my experiences, the highs and the lows (and wow there are a few) the Challenges, heart break and happiness that follow the tiny steps to reaching the mountain of milestones but most of all I wanted to share the unconditional love that autism and being a parent to a children with additional needs brings.
if you chose to journey with me and my little book there will be both good and bad things that you read, and I wont promise it will be captivating bedtime reading. But what I can promise is real life, raw emotion and true honest accounts of living with autism and auditory neuropathy spectrum disorder, This is purely my own account and point of view and is not meant to be a medical recommendation in any way. It is in fact most of the time trial and error or if we are being really honest error and more error!! But what ever is written be sure that it comes from the heart .
some of my favourite quotes to date and ones I will probably repeat many many times:
“different NOT less”
“until the pieces fit”
” A walk down autism lane ”
If you have got this far thank you for reading and I hope this will somehow be the start of something special xxx